Suicidal Ideation

Have you ever felt like you’ve had enough? Enough to, just, end it all? I have and it’s an extremely defeating feeling. Especially when you have tiny little humans who depend on you for their own little lives to keep moving forward peacefully. But this “feeling” isn’t something you can control… it doesn’t have an off switch that you can just flick and be all better. It takes hard work, specialized care, and time to heal from… and even then it still lingers and you have to fight to survive every day… and, honestly, it’s exhausting… draining… and just plain HARD. From the nonstop intrusive, looping thoughts that are so dark and mentally destructive, to the emotional warfare of depression, anguish, pain, anxiety, etc…, the low energy, lack of motivation, hopelessness, tears (so so many tears), and MORE… it just doesn’t always feel worth it… BUT it is. You matter. You make a difference here right now and forever. Always for you, but to someone or something too. Your existence or lack thereof is/would be noticed in this world. And your presence is crucial somewhere in the universe, so please don’t go. No matter how much relief it would give… because I know how that is. I live it everyday. And struggle with it 24/7 too. But I’ve come to realize that my death wouldn’t end the pain, it’d just pass it to someone else… and that takes the comfort away and I can’t do that to my children, family, friends, the world. And you can’t either. So talk to someone. Anyone. Me. I’ll listen. Every time. Promise.