Emmarie’s Perseverance Series

“Hi Emmarie. I’m Mrs. Smith. And I’m going to be your therapist. So tell me a little about yourself.”

“Um. I’m Emmarie. Well, um, yeah, you already know that. I’m new here.  And I’m new to this. My family doesn’t really believe in this kind of thing. But I do. And um yeah I think I need it. And yeah I want it. And yeah um Idk what to say. I’m kind of nervous to be honest.”

“That’s ok. And completely understandable. Tell me more about your family not believing in -this-. What exactly is this? Do you mean therapy?”

” Mental health anything in general. And any treatment for it. They believe it’s all demons and evil spirits and stuff. And um like prayer and faith heals all that kind of thing. But it’s ok to get like treatment and um doctor’s help with um physical stuff like you know diabetes or cancer. I know it doesn’t make sense. But that’s just how they are.”

“But you disagree? Is that right?”

“Yes. I think mental illness is no different than physical illness. And it requires knowledgeable and skilled care just the same. And sometimes that looks like um this and sometimes it includes medicine too. Do you prescribe medicine? And how do I know if I need that or not?”

“I’m a licensed therapist so I do not prescribe medication. After a few sessions if I feel that may be beneficial for you I will refer you to our psychiatrist who will discuss with you your medication options and you two will decide together which medication would be best for you. I will assist her in coming up with, if any, diagnosis would be appropriate for you as that is a big factor in what types of medications are best suited for your needs.”

“Oh. Um. Ok. So I won’t know today if I have like Depression or PTSD or something?”

“It’s unlikely. It takes time for you and I to get to know one another. And it’s crucial for us to spend several sessions together really diving into your symptoms and history so we can make sure we are reaching the correct diagnosis, if any, and reaching your goals and best potential. Does that make sense, Emmarie?”

” Yes ma’am. I understand.”

“Very good. So where would you like to begin?”

Emmarie started thinking about her past and everything she’s been through and wasn’t sure where to start or what was appropriate to tell this stranger that sat in front of her. What was too much? Was anything too much? Was there a line that could be crossed in therapy? Should she let it out slowly over time or pour it out all at once like a glass full of water turned upside down? She wasn’t sure but had to think quickly because her time was ticking. And once it ran out, it was the next person’s turn and she lost her chance. What to do? What to say? She looked up and seen the therapist writing and taking glances up. She started to speak but then… BBEEEPPPP! The timer rang. It was too late. She pondered too long. She missed her opportunity.

“Emmarie?”

“Yes? I’m sorry. I…. I… I…”

“It’s ok. It was only the first session. Could you see me weekly starting out? Do you have room in your schedule?”

“Yes. That’s fine. That would be um really great actually.”

“Good. Any particular day or time work best for you?”

“Any is fine. But I would prefer a consistent day and time. It would um help me remember.”

“Mondays at 3:30 P.M. ok?”

“That’s perfect. I get off work at 3 and can head straight here.”

“Well that sounds like it works out great then. It was nice meeting you. See you next week.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Emmarie awkwardly reaches her hand out to shake the therapist’s hand. The therapist smiles and obliges. Emmarie thinks to herself, “That wasn’t so bad. But I wish I had said more. I spent more time thinking about what to say than actually saying anything. Maybe next week it’ll be better. No, next week it WILL be better. I claim it.” Then she smiles and gets in her RV and drives off feeling accomplished she actually did it. She broke free of the religious chains of her past and put one foot in the door of change.