Healthy Love After Toxicity

Loving again after you’ve been put through toxicity is so hard. You have to unlearn the survival mode you put yourself into and become someone you don’t know how to be. This is especially hard if you didn’t have an example of healthy love in the home you grew up in either. I am that person. I came from multiple bad relationships and I watched my Mom suffer through one herself. I didn’t know what real, authentic love was supposed to look like. And now that I have a genuinely happy partnership with my amazing husband… all the years of heartbreak with cheaters, abusers, liars, narcissists, psychopaths, etc… don’t weigh me down so much anymore. I feel so safe and secure with my man, that I no longer fear the men of my past or the world in general the same way I used to. I know no matter what, if he’s around, he’s got my back! And that’s such an interesting feeling because I’ve never had that before. I’ve never consistently seen no one with that before. My Papaw is and was a great man, Father, and husband. But I didn’t go around him enough in those early years to really get the experience of what a man like him was really about. And I stopped going to my Papaw Dennis’s so young, I hardly remember a lot of those memories as well. Even though I do know he was and is also a wonderful man, Father, and husband. But having that in my life with Clayton is something I am beyond grateful for. He is my everything and absolute favorite adult human being in all of existence. He comforts me when negative emotions take over, makes me laugh, helps with household chores, assists in childcare (even with Quin’s complex needs, he knows what to do with him almost as much as I do), has meaningful conversations with me, openly communicates both his needs/wants as well as listens to mine THEN adjusts as needed to fix anything that might be hindering our marriage, and MORE! He’s not just my husband. He’s my best friend. Literally. He knows everything about me. My deepest secrets and darkest thoughts. There’s nothing I wouldn’t tell him! And I would stop at nothing to protect him and defend his honor because he deserves that! We as an US deserve that. We just make a magnificent team! And that’s no exaggeration. He made me believe in not only love but TRUE LOVE. Soul mates and twin flames. Destiny and fate. The idea that there is only one person out there that is perfect for you and that you can connect with and become one together really isn’t a fairytale but reality. And the pain I have faced in my past and seen those I care for face then find their end game pair… just makes you appreciate that person so much more and want to work through any obstacle that’s thrown your way as a strong knit duo because you can’t lose this. This is beautiful and magical. It’s otherworldly. You know? Almost everyone deserves to fall in love and enjoy their love like this. And I pray most anyone receives that blessing. Your life will never be the same once you get it. I can promise you that!