You really want the TRUTH or..?

The truth is… I don’t often feel genuine happiness. Not since I lost my son, Leyton. The only time I can feel joy is when I see my surviving children thriving and enjoying the lives I’m giving them. That definitely lights up my world in bright lights and puts a real smile on my face. But the light dims fast. Things go back dark and stay until I see them laughing and playing and carrying on with authentic enjoyment! But yeah in between… there’s so much sadness and pain I live with everyday that’s just absolutely agonizingly unbearable at times. But those little breaks of pure “happy” they bless me with… are all worth it.