Have you ever been the toxic person (or permanent painful memory or “scar”) to a good person?

I have… And I suffer with intense regret daily, hourly, every minute, second over it. What I did, isn’t me. Wasn’t me. It was horrid. And the guilt eats me alive. It’s hard to live with. It’s truly the only betrayal I’ve ever committed. And I feel no amount of words can relay my sincere deepest apologies to her. My best friend at the time. One who had the kindest and most forgiving heart. Gave me her all. Made me a priority. Catered to me. And I do her so wrong. How could I? I’m not evil. Or wouldn’t feel so bad. But that… THAT… certainly was! You know who you are. I am so very sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Know, I genuinely am so very sorry. I hope one day we can be close again. But I understand if that never happens. I couldn’t do it if the roles were reversed. God bless you and your beautiful life. I am getting my payback. I am not living a wonderful life. I struggle daily. I don’t live. I survive. It’s agonizing. And in no way pleasurable. Comeuppance. 🤷‍♀️😭