Author: Cede Dawn

Death isn’t the goal before the goal here has been met. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to go now. Well, at least most don’t. At least not out loud. I know heaven is paradise and a beautiful eternity. But I want my life involving my children on earth fulfilled before…

Most people think mediation, deep breathing, quiet, calm, etc… are helpful for them when things are especially hard. But that makes things harder for me. The stillness and silence leaves room for thinking and memories. It’s an open space to make things worse by adding to what is already tough to handle. If I’m thinking…

The RV engine turns off. She’s facing the building where her new therapist awaits. Is this a good idea? Could the preacher be right? Could her Mother be right? Did she make a mistake leaving them behind, cutting them off, and starting this new life? She felt fear and regret filling her stomach and quickly…

Fast forward 2 years. It’s Emmarie’s 18th birthday. And she finally saved up enough money to buy a car. She decided to buy a RV so she could leave her treacherous Mother behind and finally be at peace and get the REAL help she has so desperately needed. She fantasized about the life of healing…

Emmarie knew the preacher or her Mom had shared her secret with someone at the church. And that someone had shared it with someone else and that cycle continued and now everyone knows. She felt ashamed and embarrassed. She felt betrayed and angry. So angry. Rage, even. In the next few sessions with the preacher…

I lost a child, Leyton Case Brice. He was a newborn. 6 weeks 4 days old. At home. Positional Asphyxiation related to Torticollis was the ruling after autopsy. Accidental. I blame myself. I laid him on a pillow pet strapped in. I had done it before and with other children. So stupid, trust me I…

“Emma Marie I heard from my Mom’s friend group you were talking to the preacher about hurting yourself. What a loser! Be a real man and just kill yourself!”, bully 1 said snickering. “Emma Marie, what a stupid name!”, said bully 2. “It’s Emmarie, not Emma Marie. Please give me my project back! It’s worth…

“Hello Emmarie. I’m Preacher John. May I call you Emma?” “Emmarie is fine. Thank you.” said Emmarie rather suspiciously. “Now Emmarie, this is our preacher. He’s someone we respect and admire. Treat him as such.”, her Mother said with a smug smile on her face like she was trying to impress Preacher John. “Does she…